i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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