i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
this will be a night to untag.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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