i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I touched a dick in church today
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
