He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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