She said her name was "party"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
