Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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