If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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