I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
