so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
