i jhust puked up my retainher.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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