I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
