So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
