I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
