So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
