Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
