I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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