let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
