She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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