I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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