Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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