i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize
