my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
