I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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