I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
