they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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