Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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