I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
