My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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