how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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