He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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