So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
