the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
