She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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