I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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