who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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