Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Someone shit on the floor
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
