She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
