There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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