he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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