i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
