some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
