My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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