So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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