let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
