Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
