Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
