sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
