I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
