THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
