And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
