yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
