So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
