Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
