so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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