Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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